The Angry Buddhist

If only Bush could have embedded the reporters this time.

See? Those are the kind of details that slip through the cracks when you and all the other members of The Culture of Death are on vacation and you leave Andy Card in charge of everything at the White House.

What you get is finger pointing.

And damn if it ain't all the fingers of those killed needlessly by Katrina doing the pointing. It's the bony finger of corpses that bugs Bush and his buddies so much.

They are pointing at the fuck up who has been a failure in every single initiative since he's taken office. Every single one that is... except the ones that looted the treasury and stole from the old, sick, poor and disaffected to give more benefits to the the richest, most well off, best taken care of Americans.

That's exactly what the Communists used to do. But at least the commies gave their people health care.

It's exactly what Saddam was doing before he became an underwear model. But at least he was willing to execute members of his staff who didn't get their jobs done, and he never took really long vacations.

Those guys knew how to keep the press in line and telling the stories as prewritten. But President Fuck Up was at the ranch.

Even that wouldn't have mattered if Bush's Ministry of Allowed Information had been able to keep the press surrounded by guys on the payroll packing military weapons.

You know, like in Iraq, the war with the invisible dead guys.

No photos allowed if you've died for our country, or got your foot blown off, or are bleeding and in pain. No photos allowed of all the dead "collateral" people.

But even with all the command and control the military still complains we're not getting enough of the good news about Iraq.

When you control the cameras, you control the story in the Republic of American Idol.

That's the real reason the public turned against the Vietnam war. The photos, the video, the film just didn't match the bullshit LBJ and Nixon were grinding out.

And now 58% of Americans know that President Fuck Up deserves the blame.

Or maybe it's 60%

Because what Fuck Up's followers call "finger pointing" is what every major corporation and successful organization calls "accountability" "responsibility" and "taking ownership."


Only failures, fuck ups and grifters worry about getting blamed. Only the least skilled and worst performers accept no criticism. Only the egomanical and the unaccomplished cannot name their own mistakes.

The greater the success a person or business is, the more you hear them say things like, "I learned more from my mistakes than from anything else."

So maybe he can learn from this mistake of having the media and the press get on the scene days before he could get soldiers with guns in their hands on location to stop them. Because it's the reporters on the ground in the last week who have pulled "The Cloak of Likeability" off President Fuck Up merely by aiming their cameras at the results of his efforts.

It was so obvious and easy to report that even noted right wingers like Shepard Smith on Fox and Joe Scarbourough on MSNBC found it impossible to stick to the Republican talking points script.

President Fuck Up is living up to his name now by desperately flailing away at the oh-so-yesterday act that may have fooled half the country into voting for him before John Kerry personally committed an act of terrorism that would destroy our county, but will not work now because we have seen too much and we have seen it on television.

Blaming the local and state people will not work.

Telling lies to newspapers and cable news will not work. The truth is already documented and the Internet now makes it too easy to share it.

Like this local flood victim who gave the Vice President a message from The Angry Buddhist just today when Dick Grim Reaper Cheney emerged from his underground bunker long enough to longingly breathe deep his favorite fragrance - dead Democrats and black people.

"Go Fuck Yourself, Dick Cheney!"
The Angry Buddhist expects to see this instantly popular spirit of America catch phrase on t-shirts within 24 hours.
Right now you can click on the CNN Dick photo right above to see the video of "Go Fuck Yourself, Dick Cheney!" Pass it on to your friends and family.

Imagine how much sooner we would be hearing "Go Fuck Yourself, Dick Cheney!" from men, women, and children all over the U.S.A. if the media had the same access to the invasion and occupancy of Iraq and they had to New Orleans.

Imagine what Laura Bush's public image would be if the media had footage of the time she ran a stop sign and killed her former college boyfriend. Why you might even have heard of that story.

Imagine if the media had footage of George Bush serving his country during the Vietnam war... Yeah, you will have to imagine that, because President Fuck up has never put his life on the line for his country.

But you don't have to imagine what President Fuck Up and his pals, "Brownie" "Stretch" "Speedo" and "Earl" knew on the Sunday before the Hurricane hit New Orleans about what the consequences would be. You don't have to imagine because my pal Brian Williams from NBC posted the blackberry message he got that day on his blog.

URGENT - WEATHER MESSAGE
NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE NEW ORLEANS LA

1011 AM CDT SUN AUG 28 2005

...DEVASTATING DAMAGE EXPECTED...

HURRICANE KATRINA...A MOST POWERFUL HURRICANE WITH UNPRECEDENTED STRENGTH...RIVALING THE INTENSITY OF HURRICANE CAMILLE OF 1969.

MOST OF THE AREA WILL BE UNINHABITABLE FOR WEEKS...PERHAPS LONGER.

AT LEAST HALF OF WELL CONSTRUCTED HOMES WILL HAVE ROOF AND WALL FAILURE. ALL GABLED ROOFS WILL FAIL...ALL WOOD FRAMED LOW RISING APARTMENT BUILDINGS WILL BE DESTROYED...ALL WINDOWS WILL BE BLOWN OUT.

THE VAST MAJORITY...OF TREES WILL BE SNAPPED OR UPROOTED. ONLY THE HEARTIEST WILL REMAIN STANDING...BUT BE TOTALLY DEFOLIATED.

POWER OUTAGES WILL LAST FOR WEEKS...AS MOST POWER POLES WILL BE DOWN AND TRANSFORMERS DESTROYED. WATER SHORTAGES WILL MAKE HUMAN SUFFERING INCREDIBLE BY MODERN STANDARDS.

See? When you have shit like that, even Karl Rove on double super secret probation can't call Bob Novak to leak an attack on somebody else to shift the focus.

The ratings are just too damn good, and even though President Fuck Up has made plenty of money for Fox, MSNBC and even CNN (which has acted like his bitch since 2000) will throw his ass on the scrapheap of history if the enticing and nonstop drama of Katrina proves to be the biggest reality hit of them all. Who the hell cares about the new fall season when you got the show nobody wants to turn away from. You want to talk about buying power? The public has already ponied up hundreds of millions right out of their own pockets for this hit.

What's been most entertaining for The Angry Buddhist is watching the difference between the people on the scenes and the oh-so-attractive news "readers" who are the anchors on CNN and MSNBC. They're still stuck in a time warp and playing to the audience who voted for Bush.

But that demographic has lost a huge chunk of its base and as soon as the producers and account executives have the chance they're going to overhaul those shows and write a new script with a whole new cast that plays to today's audience.

So President Fuck Up has fallen out of favor. But that doesn't mean the impact of his failures will not live on long after his show is cancelled and he moves into the house on The Surreal World.

Feel free to comment on what you think President Fuck Up's Top Five failures have been.