IMPEACH GEORGE BUSH!! The Angry Buddhist: August 2005

Monday, August 22, 2005

God Scoffs At Bush "Faith"

Says No Blessing For War Monger, Troops or Any Politicians

The Supreme Being, Mr. Divine Designer himself, took a break from his well earned "working vacation" at his unicorn stud farm in Perfect, Paradise to comment on his relationship with George Bush, his views on Christianity, Islam and Scientology and to forcefully deny he has been taking too much time off.

"Yeah, I've been here on vacation since helping the Mets win the 1969 World Series. But based on my infinite 'always been here, always will be' existence, the last 34 years I've been off ain't nothing more than the blink of a camel's eye. But I'm still getting a bad rap..."

"I took the time off the same year Nixon made his deal with Satan and I washed my hand of all politicians and their parties."

"The Devil got the whole integrated package - candidates, elected officials, PACs - and naturally the cable and network television rights to covering it all. Those are all his people."

"The deal is, I don't bless any of them or what they do. I don't listen to their prayers and I don't ever talk to any of them. It's worked out great for me!"

"I'm surprised people don't realize this since it seems so obvious to me, but hey, I'm God, I understand all of it."

"I threw in all the organized religions in exchange for 60% of all merchandising and licensing income. I get a cut of every car fish, every cross and every burka. It pays for the whole vacation and the new planet I'm intelligently designing on the other side of the universe."

"I'm going to create these people to be smart enough to just use the one commandant I give them without adding 9 of their own. All I gave Moses was a marble post-it that said, "Love your neighbor as you love yourself." I don't know where all that other crap came from. Who needs to say don't kill or lie or cheat when you've got the one commandment in place? And I never said squat about who you could worship or how."

"Anyone who knows me knows that my ego don't need no worshipping. My self esteem is just fine. I know how all powerful and all knowing I am. Why the hell would I want people to get on their knees and tell me how great and wonderful I am? Talk about embarrassing brown nosing. Give me a break, I'm God, not the leader of North Korea."

"You want to kill each other? Go ahead. What do I care? I gave you all free will and I don't take sides. I'm not the big judge in the sky and I'm not your daddy."

"But when you do kill each other, either individually or in large sized war numbers, don't ever connect my name with it. I don't bless your troops or anyone else's. And the fact that you think I ever would, just shows why I needed this vacation."

"Why that's almost as funny - as putting my name on your money! Ha! That's a good one. I'll say one thing for you folks - you do keep me laughing my ass off!"

Friday, August 19, 2005

Bend Over and Fill 'Er Up!

Man, oh man, are gas prices high. Who'd a thunk it?

When people voted for former oilmen Bush and Cheney as their President and his puppeteer, they thought these fellas would know how to deal with them Arabs and keep the prices at that sweet spot where SUVs sell like hot cakes and nobody worries about how many fucking miles per gallon they get.

But instead a barrel of oil is over $60 and gas for the Angry Buddhistmobile is now over three bucks a gallon. Luckily I have learned to travel in spirit without having to pack more than my karma. But for many of my followers that truth is not their truth.

And I know all you Bushies thought that when he and Veep Dick put together their Energy commission headed by Kenny Boy Lay of now bankrupt and completely disgraced Enron that they'd use their industry expertise to streamline, reduce redundancies and keep that cheap gas a flowing.

Now forgive me if I digress, but I know Martha Stewart is still being electronically monitored by the long arm of the law, while Ken Lay runs naked and free through the city streets of Houston StinkPot Texas doing meth and dealing crack with reckless abandon. I kid you not. I read it on line.

Today your Buddhist is not only angry at Bush and Cheney for using their public offices to let their pals in the oil industry and their bedsheet wearing Saudi Arabian friends all rape and pillage the public like they were milking cows at the dumber than average dairy cow farm... but he is even more angry with all the suckers and dimwits who voted for Bush and brought all the shit that he has wrought down upon us.

They have no excuses. Bush hasn't done a 180 and changed his stripes. None of what Bush has done should be a surprise to anyone who doesn't live in a Fox News world. Gas prices on their way to doubling while he's in office and all time historic record profits for those who paid to put him office? Where's the plot twist in that story? But to think that there would be an audience gullible and just plain simple minded enough to buy what Bush was selling and not see through it...

Fortunately the Angry Buddhist is not personally effected in any way by the price of gasoline since I transcend such mundane matters. So I look forward to gas making its inevitable journey to $4 and then $5 a gallon. I'm going to really enjoy watching all those folks with Hummers, Escalades, Lincoln Navagators and Ford Extinctions digging deep in their wallets like sheep to help make Bush's friends richer and richer and richer.

Hey, too bad that whole idea about the Iraq war paying for itself through the Iraqi oil industry profits backfired, didn't work and drove the price of oil even higher and the supply contracted. Wait till Iran and Venezula join forces to help cause the next oil crisis. People with ajustable rate loans are going to really dig what that does to interest rates.

But do you think anyone will admit they made a mistake in voting for Bush and either had their head up their ass at the time or just plain got themselves snookered? Fat fucking chance. When it comes to politics the average voter is as likely to admit making a mistake as George WMD Bush is.

And do you think people will get upset enough about the price of gas, or crappy economy for anyone who isn't rich already, or the trashing of the environment, or the incompetent response to 9-11, or the pissing away of the surplus or the shoving of Jesus Christ down the throats of all Amerians in this suddenly Christian branded country?

Nah. You're not going to see any riots or any public displays of anger or people power being exercised over this. Because we live in a nation of sheep where people only get upset and emotional over bullshit, primitive issues like whether or not stem cells are really people or whether god employed intelligent design to make sure gay folks do not get married.

What amuses your Buddhist no end is to see the poll numbers changing and dropping sharply for Bush while at the same time you don't hear anything sounding different in the public arena. All you've got to do is wave an American flag in front of some people and chant some mumbo jumbo about freedom, democracy and "getting those damn terrorists dead or alive!" and you can get self-annointed patriots to dance to whatever choreography you dictate.

They will flat out funky chicken if that's what you want them to do because their buttons are so damn easy and effective to push.

So forget ever seeing gas go back down in price again. But don't worry, you can just put it on your credit card and pay it off over time... at about 24% interest. That way Bush's banker buddies get to cornhole you too and dip their beaks as well.

Friday, August 12, 2005

No I Do Not Support The Troops

The "war" isn't going well in Iraq. Bush's numbers are dangerously down and Cindy Sheehan, that mom of the dead soldier, is still camped out down the road from Bush's shack in his vacation wonderland, Crawford, Texas.

But you can't tell it from all the yellow ribbons pasted on the back of cars from coast to coast. Everyone wants you to know that they "Support The Troops." It's patriotic don't you know...

I've heard many people say, it's okay not to support the war, and yeah, maybe we did go into Iraq for dubious purposes, but heck, now that we're there you've got to support the troops and admire and respect them since they have such a tough job to do. And they are, after all, putting their lives on the line for the dream of freedom. Iraqi freedom. Oh yeah.

And oh, right. We DO have to fight them over there, before we have to fight them over here.

To which I say, what a total crock of horseshit. Sorry, I'm not one of the sheep who is swallowing that phony tug of the red white and bule heartstrings. Only a fool feels comforted by lies.

When a war is wrong it's wrong. When it was launched on behalf of a lie it's even more wrong. When tens of thousands of innocent Iraqi citizens- many more times than the numbers of innocent people killed on 9-11 - are killed in what our government calls "unfortunate mistakes, collateral damage or the results of insurgants using residential neighborhoods as battle grounds." Then it's worse than wrong it's primitive and evil. You can package it in some other way that makes it more palitible for you, but you're just putting whip cream on dirt.

If you're following the head-up-its-ass logic, the very people our soldiers are risking their lives to bring freedom to, are being killed every day because our people are there. The dictator we invaded their country to overthrow is in a maximum security jail reduced to being the tabloid coverboy in his underpants, but the liberated people are worse off than they were before. Their country is a total mess, it's going to fall to pieces whenever it is that we do leave, and it's already been turned into the world's greatest live fire terrorist training facility. Whose plan was that part of?

And the fact is, the Iraqi people were never calling for either freedom or democracy. And if they had been, then they could have taken their legitimarte place in line behind all the other oppressed citizens of countries with nut case dictators who we once funded and should do something about when we get the chance.

There is nothing but falsehoods, propaganda and herculean spin coming from the White House. And that's at their most open and honest. It's all they know how to do. It worked so well after 9-11 and in the last election it's no wonder they don't change their script. It hasn't failed them yet. But this time it will because they can't fix this with more tax cuts. Sure the war is perfect for profits for their pals, but if they can't sell the "USA All The Way" rally round the flag shit, they won't have the cover to rake in the back door dough that war is famous for.

But while they may understand how gullible and easy to con Americans are, and exactly what buttons to press to make that happen, it's clear they don't have a Homer Simpson's clue what makes the Middle East tick or how to deal with the terrorists who attacked the Twin Towers on 9-11.

We didn't send enough troops to do the job in Afghanistan and we didn't have the balls or the courage to do what had to be done in Pakistan and Saudi Arabia, the two REAL sources of the terrorists out to kill Americans, not Iraq. No wonder Osama's favorite t-shirt says "Wanted Dead or Alive" and he wears it wherever the fuck he wants to.

The fact that America is cool with that, that Americans don't make any connection to having oil men running the country and having oil cost a new all time high every day tells you all you need to know about how perceptive they are. And how intelligent the citizens are about judging the facts against the fiction being foisted upon them by the real self interest group Bush and company.

So the fact that the average American feels this emotional bond with our boys fighting for freedom overseas doesn't matter a rat's ass to me.

The troops are fighting an unjust war in a country they have no business occupying. They were wrong to invade and do the damage they did and they're wrong to still be there. What part of that is hard for anyone to understand?

If you support the troops, every one of whom volunteered to be in the military or national guard, then you are supporting their use right or wrong. Where do you draw the line? How many excuses are you willing to make? How many times can you stomach looking the other way?

Aren't we supposed to have a higher standard than that? Damn right we are. And if you don't then you're not really the quality patriotic American you think you are.

If a President with a special interest agenda, as this President has with corporate America and his Saudi OPEC oil kings, wants to use our military for reasons that violate our true values and morals, then supporting the troops is wrong and merely empowering a far greater wrong.

It's only when people stop supporting the troops and start supporting the truth that the troops' best interests finally will be served.

If you support the troops knowing what we know now, then you are giving your thumbs up to attacking and going to war with a country:

Supporting the troops today means you support being lied to and played for a chump. A patsy. A clueless mark.

You proababy think a Nigerian really is going to put millions of dollars into your bank account if you just give him the number.

We look back at World War II and we wonder why the average German or Japanese citizen didn't see what was really going on and stop believing their governments. Why didn't they do something when they still could?

The reason is that they were brainwashed and spun to support the troops. They supported the troops. Right up until the moment when they buried them.

Supporting the troops today is like pouring a drunk another drink before putting him behind the wheel of a school bus. A school bus with your own kids in it.

Run that up your flag pole and salute it.

Thursday, August 04, 2005

Taking The Local

The bloated corpse that was Tip O'Neill even in life as Speaker of the House is credited with the words of wisdom, "All politics is local." And as this Angry Buddhist has learned along my pissed off path, all anger begins at home.

Which may explain why I wish several of my closest neighbors were suicide bombers who had succeeded.

And by success I mean that they had blown themselves to smithereens, ideally inside their homes while planning their attack, confining the damage to their own property and the carnage to themselves, their families and strongest supporters.

Oh, and of course all their contractors and their vehicles as well.

Nothing is guaranteed to make a Buddhist as angry as terrorism through construction, especially when it's right next door or directly across the street.

To fan the flames of remodeling rage even more white hot, the people who are having the work done will vacate the premises while their evil, almost exclusively male minions do their hell raising bidding. That way the home owners are not inconvenienced or disturbed either by the noise, dirt and traffic or by the death ray glares of their peace and quiet loving neighbors.

Clearly some of the worst human beings on the planet - outside of politics and corporate culture - are drawn like flies to working on homes they do not live in located in neighborhoods they are not in harmony with.

Is it the lure of power tools? Is it the drive to invade and conquer? Why can't they all just swarm in for a week or less and get the job done like the crew of Extreme Makeover? Do you have to have a terminal disease or a TV worthy sob story to get the contractors who don't act like loud, rude, dumbass monkeys? Apparently so, based on what I've seen from my own office window.

I have had the unique opportunity to observe this dangerous subculture on an ongoing daily basis since 2001. 9-11 will be remembered by many in the nation as the day that changed everything.

But it was months before that when this gentle seeker of truth felt the life altering impact of the foreign con artist developers of the property right next door to mine. First lying about their intentions, then demolishing the historic 1920's hacienda with its classic design and craftsmanship. And then erecting a grotesquery of ugliness three times its size with no class or style. Is it any wonder this Buddhist was forced to put a curse on its construction and their entire future?

To this very day in 2005 the house is still not complete, its occupants still enjoying the joy of paying more and more to have nothing but the very finest, the best of the best as they so richly deserve. Sure, it is I who have had to endure the daily noise and nuisances, but sometimes one must be willing to sacrifice so that others may more justly suffer.

Alas I have been able to do nothing about the house across the street and the crew working on replacing their gardens with concrete patios or the new home also being built down the street by the gang who likes to crank up the music and dance for each other's enjoyment on the roof.

They also seem to really enjoy setting their own car alarms off and seeing how long they can take before turning it off. If my current prayers are answered a flaming ball of toxic meteor will hit their worksite dead on from a precise trajectory starting in deep space. If you can dream it, it can be so.

So while the issues of the world at large, our nation and the entire state of California have raced with abandon where ever dark and terrible places they are headed since my last entry 8 months ago, rest assured they have not gone unnoticed or without reaction here in my temple. I have not given up the fight, nor have I mellowed and learned to live with all that displeases me.

So I'm back, I'm even more pissed, and I've got plenty to say about it all. I've just been busy getting to know all my neighbors...

And oh yeah.... I've been out to the desert to see my mentor and share with him my vision for changing politics as we know it in the United States. After his sage advice and much contemplation on my part I am soon to be releasing it to you.

Someday, in the not too distant future, it will have changed America forever for the better and you’ll be able to say, “Hey, I remember reading that first on the Angry Buddhist blog, back when everything was still almost 100% totally fucked up.” Imagine that.

I’d post it now, but I have to go talk to that guy in the big diesel truck that just parked in front of my driveway. Man, that stinks.

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